


Thru These Tears

by eugenes



Category: Day6 (Band)
Genre: Anxiety, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, j feels :( and anxious, slight angst, woonie is a caring bf
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-03
Updated: 2019-04-03
Packaged: 2020-01-04 06:35:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18338144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eugenes/pseuds/eugenes
Summary: Jae has anxiety throughout their last concert of the Youth tour, and Dowoon calms him down after.





	Thru These Tears

**Author's Note:**

> idk what this is i randomly had an idea and just Wrote
> 
> i love jaewoon and i wish they had more fics 😞 guess i'll write them

Jae felt anxious. He felt as if everyone in this arena was against him. He could barely hear the crowd, but what he did hear he felt like was negative feedback. Sure, he messed up a little on his guitar solo, but it wasn't that bad, was it?

He was sure many people noticed nor cared much because he was a talented man and we all make mistakes despite being amazing at what we love. But he couldn't shake of this feeling, this burden that he was carrying.

In all honesty, Jae wanted to be alone. He wanted to suffer in his own sorrow and let everyone have fun as he would try to shake off the stupid feelings he had and go have fun with everyone else. He wanted to cry, scream, anything he could do to shake off this feeling and nerves he was feeling.

He wanted to be with Dowoon, he wanted to feel his warmth and be reminded that he was okay and that it’s okay he made a small mistake, that he was still Jae and everyone loved him regardless of his minor mistake. He wanted Dowoon to hold him in his arms, hold and squeeze his hand as he whispered reminders in his deep but soothing voice.

Jae knew that he couldn't do as he wanted, but he had to just suck it up and go on with the concert, go on as if he was okay. He wanted to be okay. But like he knew, he couldn't have as he wished.

He sighed to himself, turning towards Dowoon and watched the maknae have the time of his life playing behind those drums. Sometimes he wished _he_ was the one who played the drums, so even if he wasn't okay, he was hidden behind the instrument and can play out his feelings.

Yes, he could play his emotions and through his own instrument and vocals, but he wanted to play a sad song, or a song that holds anger and excitement so he could get his blood flowing and lose himself in the music. Right now, however, he had to play Day6’s tracks.

Though he did love playing them, he didn't want to play them now. He felt as if the fans would be disappointed in his ability to play his own songs, as if his part was horrible and off compared to the rest of the song. The song that he was currently playing was one he helped Younghyun write, and he felt like his part of the lyrics were stupid and didn't match.

When he turned back around and faced Dowoon once again, he felt his emotions he was currently feeling stop as Dowoon smiled at him. Jae smiled back, losing himself in this feeling before it was his part to sing. He sang like he wouldn't be able to sing again, he sang until he felt as if his heart would go out.

When his part was over, he absent mindedly played his guitar, and began to overthink of his previous action. What if everyone hasn't forgotten his mistake? What if he voice was off key, what if he sounded like he was trying to hard?

Before he knew it, the concert was almost over. They were singing sing me, the last song of this show, the last song of the tour. As he played, he felt his anxiety rise and rise again. He began to think: what if he disappointed everyone the whole tour?

He got lost in these thoughts, until Dowoon grabbed his hand, like the youngest knew Jae was lost in his feelings. Dowoon has a smile on his face, but the look in his eyes were ones such as ‘we need to talk’. Jae knew that look.

That look was one the others would give him before scolding him. The look that would be before he felt as is if he had failed himself, failed his members, failed the fans. The look that made his stomach want to empty out all of what was inside.

Jae just shook his head, squeezed Dowoon’s hand tighter, and gave the biggest _fake_ smile he could muster. It must have been good, because he heard the fans scream and the members smiled back just as big, if not bigger.

The band bowed down on both side, waving to their supporters before they exited the stage. All Jae could think about is that Dowoon, the band, and the fans were disappointed in him.

“Jae, c’mon. I wanna talk to you.” Dowoon said, grabbing Jae’s hand once again. The anxiety in Jae was bubbling up more and more, he could hear his own heartbeat as he felt like there was a rock pushing up on his chest. He felt his breath quicken and his eyes water, and he must have made a sound as Dowoon guided the two of them to an area where they’d be alone, because Dowoon turned around and his face grew empathic.

“Baby,” Dowoon whispered, putting his hand onto Jae’s face, cupping it as he rubbed his thumb softly against him. “What’s the matter?” Dowoon asked gently, and Jae just shook his head. It was stupid, what he was upset and so stupidly anxious about was almost cowardly.

“Jae.” Dowoon said, his other hand cupping his face and wiping away tears. He must've began to cry, which he now felt pathetic about. Who cries over their stupid anxiety and feeling like they disappointed not only themselves but the people they loved and cherished most?

Everyone, the rational side of Jae thought, but that was pushed to the back as his anxiety manipulated his thoughts. He began to cry, his cries soon turning into sobs. Dowoon held him in his arms, cooing at him and trying to whisper sweet nothings to him to try to calm down his upset boyfriend.

“Hey, c’mon baby. Let’s go home, okay? You can cry and let it all out, and then we can change into comfy pj’s and watch stupid movies, hm?” Dowoon suggested, pulling Jae away from his chest and wiping away his wet tear-stained cheeks.

Jae just nodded silently, and Dowoon smiled. Dowoon grabbed Jae’s hand, and squeezed it tightly, like he was never gonna let him go. He began to rub his thumb against Jae’s hand, and Jae felt his anxiety slowly ease away.

He still had an aching feeling, but he was reassured that his boyfriend at least still loved and cared for him. Dowoon called in a cab from their company, and got into it first and buckled himself and Jae in before he let Jae rest his head onto his broad shoulder.

Even if Jae still had anxiety, he began to feel sleepy, like his body was too tired and it was shutting down. Dowoon noticed, and he chuckled before he started running his hand’s through Jae’s hair.

“Are you tired?” Dowoon asked him, despite knowing the answer to his question. Jae nodded, and Dowoon hummed. “We can go home and relax like I said, okay? You don’t have to tell me what’s wrong baby. But please, next time if you’re not feeling okay, let me know, alright? I love and cherish you, and I just want you to be the happiest you can be.

“Yes, we all have our downs, and it’s okay and healthy to not always be okay, but I never want you to suffer alone, okay? I never want you to feel like you’re alone. I don’t want you to get lost in the thoughts  that’ve been played with by anxiety. Just know, baby, that we love you so much. Me, the band, our fans. We all love and care for you, and nothing will change that, okay?” Dowoon rambled, and Jae felt himself tear up again.

How could he be so _stupid_ and let his anxiety get to him? How could he possibly think he disappointed everyone? Jae assumed that Dowoon noticed he was getting upset again, because he began to ask him questions to distract him.

They were now at their apartment, and Dowoon took Jae’s hand as he stepped out of the car. They held hands as they unlocked the dorm’s front door, closing and locking it, before they slipped off their shoes.  

Dowoon regrabbed Jae’s hand and led him to his room. Dowoon sat on the bed and put something onto his tv. “Why don't you go to your room, change into something comfortable, brush your teeth and stuff and come back, okay?” Dowoon said, and Jae nodded.

He changed into sweatpants and a white undershirt, planning to ask Dowoon for his hoodie when he got back. He washed his face and brushed his teeth, staring at his sad looking reflecting before he shut off the light and made his way to his boyfriend’s room.

He shut the door after himself, and Dowoon turned towards him as he was putting on a random old shirt to sleep in. “Hi baby. Why do you only have that shirt on? You’re gonna get cold.”

Jae blushed. “I wanted to wear one of your hoodies to bed.” Jae said, looking down at his sock covered feet and rubbing the back of his neck.

“You’re so cute.” Dowoon smiled, before going to his closest, grabbing a random hoodie, and throwing it to Jae. Jae caught it and put it on. For some reason, it was a little baggy on Jae, which means i was probably also big on Dowoon.

Dowoon smiled at him, and walked over to kiss him. “I love you.” He mumbled in English, and Jae smiled. Though he didn't speak it often, Dowoon was learning a lot of English, and Jae was proud of him. “I love you more, Dowoonie.” Jae said in English as well.

The two cuddled up into bed, Jae being the little spoon tonight. They watched whatever Dowoon chose to watch, and they drifted to sleep. Jae no longer felt that ache, no longer had manipulated thoughts, no longer felt anxious. Instead, he felt happy, warm, and at home in Dowoon’s arms.


End file.
